29th As I Know and Want It to Be

"The past year had been a lot of things for me. I realized that some of what I had were not worth keeping and some of what I wanted were not worth aiming for."

I'm now 29 years old and I still say I'm 27 whenever someone asks about my age, at least unconsciously. The latest one happened almost two weeks ago when I had my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. The doctor asked for my age at the interview station, I immediately said 27 and had it corrected on the vaccination station when I realized that I was not 27 years old anymore. But what's really with age? For me, it's just a number, so I say whatever age I want to say if it's not for legal purposes, of course. What's important is how I move forward with all the mistakes and achievements that I had in the previous years. So I think, I want to stick to 27. LOL.

From Yesterday And Today

In the past year, I tried to keep myself afloat and grounded in the middle of this COVID-19 pandemic. It was extra challenging for a man like me who has been living on his own. But knowing that I have people who love me for who I am has been enough for me to be living this life rather than just surviving. For the most part, I've been staying in the comfort of my apartment with occasional runs to the supermarket, and if the quarantine restrictions would permit, jogging and walking around my neighborhood.

My apartment has been my safe haven since 2014. It's been witness to all of my highs and lows since then. And yes, I think I spent 90% of my time this past year in the warmth of my apartment. This warmth cleared my head when I made several important life-changing decisions this past year. My apartment was also the place where I realized that I no longer wish for temporary things in life, that I already want the constant and permanent things in life. I know, these things are not easy to come by these days but a man can dream.

In my 28th year, I realized that being in any relationship, be it romantic or friendship, that aimed for nothing but a stagnant one was not and will never be worth my time. Shoutout to the people that I had in my life for making me realized this. Thank you so much for spending a page of your life with me. I will forever cherish the memories that we shared. As for my career, this year made me realized that I would like to continue with the flexibility of my current post, not just because I have more time to spend on people who matter most but also it allows me to focus on myself.

As per my interests this year, since badminton isn't a good hobby to pursue at this time, reading and investing have been keeping me busy when I'm not working. Reading has been keeping me occupied whenever anxiety and stress try to pin me down. The sense of just being out of the real world calms me down every time I feel the space I'm in is shrinking around me. And whenever I want that thrill and excitement, I focus my attention on the world of investing. Though I haven't really explored the actual depth of investing, I'm still trying to figure out what specific financial instruments I want to focus on. I'm not willing to waste my resources just because of reckless and uninformed decisions.

Learning For Tomorrow

As I explore life in my 29th year, I want to move forward with some learnings from my experiences and with some plans for my future.

For my relationships, I want to be surrounded by people who are proud to be with me, know how to communicate themselves, and see their future with me. It's not just for a romantic relationship but also friendships. With my best friends, all I can say is they are the best! Being at this age, I think it's just normal that I want to keep my circle small and tight. So yes, I'm not very much interested anymore in meeting new people.

With my current career, I want to focus on my current post and not aim for a big career leap, at least in the next year. Don't get me wrong. I love the challenging nature of the industry that I'm in, I'm just not ready yet to give up the comfort that my current post gives me. But of course, I aim to improve and further widen my knowledge on how to be at my best in doing my job.

As for my interests, I want to read more! I can't be more serious with reading than this coming year, at least it's what I tell myself every year. I aim to read 24 books this year, 12 fiction and 12 non-fiction. I also plan to have a deeper knowledge of the investing world- have a better understanding of stocks and forex trading. With badminton, I will continue my weekly training once this pandemic is over. In addition, I see a brighter future for Acenotes, more on having more posts- at least one post per week.

To sum it all up, I plan to have the best 29th year, not that I have another shot at being 29 after this. HAHAHA!!!

Ang Pusang Itim

"Sa tuwing uuwi ng hating-gabi si Anthony mula sa trabaho ay palagi siyang nagdarasal na sana ay hindi siya makasalubong ng pusang itim sa daan. Pero bakit nga ba ayaw na ayaw niyang makasalubong ng pusang itim?"

Alas-nuwebe na ng gabi nang mag-log-out si Anthony sa trabaho, para sa kaniya eh mas maigi nang ganitong oras umuwi para hindi na gaanong trapik sa EDSA. Bagamat sanay nang umuuwi ng ganitong oras ng gabi ang binata ay palagi pa rin siyang nagdarasal bago umalis ng opisina at habang nasa biyahe. Palagi niyang ipinagdarasal na sana ay hindi siya makasalubong ng pusang itim sa daan.

Sa tuwing mangyayari kasi ito ay palaging may masamang nangyayari sa huling taong nakausap niya bago makasalubong ng pusang itim, kaya naman naging habit na rin niya na hindi makipag-usap sa mga katrabaho niya bago umalis ng opisina.

Habang naglalakad sa Paseo de Roxas papuntang sakayan ng bus ay umaalingawngaw pa rin sa tainga ni Anthony ang mga sinabi ng boss niya kanina bago ito umalis sa meeting ng kanilang team. Ito ay lubhang ikinapahiya niya kaya naman hindi na niya nagawa pang kausapin ang mga teammates niya pagkatapos ng meeting at kaagad na nagpunta sa kaniyang cubicle para itama kaagad ang katiting na mali sa document na ipinasa niya sa kaniyang boss.

"Estupido! It's just a simple report but you can't perfect it? Did I just hire a member of my team to give me an erroneous document? God! You're just wasting the salary that this company is paying you."

Para mawala sa isip niya ang mga nangyari sa trabaho kanina ay minabuti niyang makinig na lamang sa Spotify.

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear

But much more for the touch of your whips, dear

You can raise welts

Like nobody else

As we dance to the Masochism Tango

Let our love be a flame, not an ember

Say it's me that you want to dismember

Blacken my eye

Set fire to my tie

As we dance to the Masochism Tango

Naging effective naman ang pakikinig niya ng music. Hindi na niya namalayang malapit na pala siya sa babaan niya. Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay naglalakad na siya papunta sa inuupahan niyang apartment nang walang anu-ano ay may pusang itim na bigla na lamang dumaan nang patakbo sa kaniyang daraanan. Sa sobrang gulat ay muntik pa niyang maitapon ang hawak na cellphone. Maya-maya ay nakatanggap si Anthony ng text mula sa isa niyang ka-team.

Patay na si Sir Richard, nabangga daw ng taxi kanina habang tumatawid pauwi ng bahay nila.