Moving Out Blues and Stresses

"But these last 60 hours have been eye-opening to me."

It's been 25 days since I officially move out of my apartment in Quezon City. It's also this long already that I've been living with my boyfriend. As of today, I'm not sure if moving in before we even reach two years of being together is a great decision.

I love my partner, very much. I love talking to him before going to sleep at night and seeing him first when I wake up in the morning. I love spending my free time with him even in total silence and just having him beside me.

But these last 60 hours have been eye-opening to me. For context, his mother arrived last Monday from the province due to a family affair that they have this coming weekend. And ever since her arrival, she has changed and moved a lot of the things, some furniture, and fixtures, that I re-arranged to make our stay in the apartment optimized for our work-from-home set-up. And I'm not okay with all the changes that she did.

This apartment that my boyfriend and I are renting right now is previously rented by his family (mother, brother, sister, and his sister's boyfriend). Right now, his mother is officially residing in their hometown and that makes her our visitor.?. His brother occupies the second bedroom when he works on-site three times a week and then goes back to the province to spend time with his family. And I think my boyfriend and his brother have an agreement that his brother will contribute an amount monthly for our electricity consumption. His sister and his sister's boyfriend already moved to their own house in the nearby province. As for the bills, aside from the contribution of his brother, it's 50-50 between my boyfriend and me. As far as I'm concerned, only my boyfriend and I are the official residents of our apartment right now. Or am I wrong?

In this situation, I have this idea that if his mother would like to move things around the apartment, she would need to ask permission from both of us first and not just from my boyfriend. And when I woke up last Tuesday afternoon to all these changes, I went ballistic on my boyfriend. I know that I could have said things better and there's no excuse for how I reacted. And I'm so sorry for that.

As to my issue with my boyfriend, my thingking is that my boyfriend should have said no when her mother was moving things around because it should be up to my boyfriend and me and not just my boyfriend since we both agreed to these changes with compromises from the two of us. As to what his mother did, I feel so disrespected. Wala naman sigurong magugustuhan na may bisita ka sa bahay mo at bigla-bigla na lang pakikialaman ng bisita ang mga pinag-aayos mo nang hindi nagpapaalam sayo.

So with this event, I feel like I'm not ready for his family to get into things that should only involve my boyfriend and me. And I think I will never be.

The only thing that I can logically think of doing is letting the changes be for now and I'll just move them back to where they were before when it's just my boyfriend and me again in the apartment. And yes, go out of the apartment from time to time to have a breath of fresh air and not be stressed about what just happened. So here I am, enjoying a glass of this decaf iced choco mochaluya all by myself at seven in the morning.

29th As I Know and Want It to Be

"The past year had been a lot of things for me. I realized that some of what I had were not worth keeping and some of what I wanted were not worth aiming for."

I'm now 29 years old and I still say I'm 27 whenever someone asks about my age, at least unconsciously. The latest one happened almost two weeks ago when I had my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. The doctor asked for my age at the interview station, I immediately said 27 and had it corrected on the vaccination station when I realized that I was not 27 years old anymore. But what's really with age? For me, it's just a number, so I say whatever age I want to say if it's not for legal purposes, of course. What's important is how I move forward with all the mistakes and achievements that I had in the previous years. So I think, I want to stick to 27. LOL.

From Yesterday And Today

In the past year, I tried to keep myself afloat and grounded in the middle of this COVID-19 pandemic. It was extra challenging for a man like me who has been living on his own. But knowing that I have people who love me for who I am has been enough for me to be living this life rather than just surviving. For the most part, I've been staying in the comfort of my apartment with occasional runs to the supermarket, and if the quarantine restrictions would permit, jogging and walking around my neighborhood.

My apartment has been my safe haven since 2014. It's been witness to all of my highs and lows since then. And yes, I think I spent 90% of my time this past year in the warmth of my apartment. This warmth cleared my head when I made several important life-changing decisions this past year. My apartment was also the place where I realized that I no longer wish for temporary things in life, that I already want the constant and permanent things in life. I know, these things are not easy to come by these days but a man can dream.

In my 28th year, I realized that being in any relationship, be it romantic or friendship, that aimed for nothing but a stagnant one was not and will never be worth my time. Shoutout to the people that I had in my life for making me realized this. Thank you so much for spending a page of your life with me. I will forever cherish the memories that we shared. As for my career, this year made me realized that I would like to continue with the flexibility of my current post, not just because I have more time to spend on people who matter most but also it allows me to focus on myself.

As per my interests this year, since badminton isn't a good hobby to pursue at this time, reading and investing have been keeping me busy when I'm not working. Reading has been keeping me occupied whenever anxiety and stress try to pin me down. The sense of just being out of the real world calms me down every time I feel the space I'm in is shrinking around me. And whenever I want that thrill and excitement, I focus my attention on the world of investing. Though I haven't really explored the actual depth of investing, I'm still trying to figure out what specific financial instruments I want to focus on. I'm not willing to waste my resources just because of reckless and uninformed decisions.

Learning For Tomorrow

As I explore life in my 29th year, I want to move forward with some learnings from my experiences and with some plans for my future.

For my relationships, I want to be surrounded by people who are proud to be with me, know how to communicate themselves, and see their future with me. It's not just for a romantic relationship but also friendships. With my best friends, all I can say is they are the best! Being at this age, I think it's just normal that I want to keep my circle small and tight. So yes, I'm not very much interested anymore in meeting new people.

With my current career, I want to focus on my current post and not aim for a big career leap, at least in the next year. Don't get me wrong. I love the challenging nature of the industry that I'm in, I'm just not ready yet to give up the comfort that my current post gives me. But of course, I aim to improve and further widen my knowledge on how to be at my best in doing my job.

As for my interests, I want to read more! I can't be more serious with reading than this coming year, at least it's what I tell myself every year. I aim to read 24 books this year, 12 fiction and 12 non-fiction. I also plan to have a deeper knowledge of the investing world- have a better understanding of stocks and forex trading. With badminton, I will continue my weekly training once this pandemic is over. In addition, I see a brighter future for Acenotes, more on having more posts- at least one post per week.

To sum it all up, I plan to have the best 29th year, not that I have another shot at being 29 after this. HAHAHA!!!