Life Almost Starts At Thirty

"Well, just because they say life starts at forty."

When I started living on my own, celebrating my birthday had always meant sleeping for at least 10 hours, having dinner in a restaurant, watching a random movie in the cinema, and having a massage, all of these on my own. I never worried about doing things alone because it's rarely complicated. The only struggle I experienced was not knowing what I wanted to eat on that day and perhaps not being exactly sure if a movie was good enough for me to spend money on to watch it on the big screen. Now that I'm turning 30, it's somehow different. Though I still celebrated it with a lot of sleep, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of roses and a cake. I'd say that my 30th birthday was a little extra. One weekend, after my birthday, my boyfriend and I, along with one of my best friends and his girlfriend, spent the weekend in the City of Pines, Baguio. We left the metro at two o'clock in the morning on Saturday, and by seven, we were already in Baguio. We had breakfast at Hill Station, went to see some tourist spots, checked into our hotel, and had dinner at Le Chef in The Manor. The following day was just another tour of the city, and we ended our mini vacation with four hours of relaxation at North Haven Spa. Onto the things that I want to do in my 30s... I want to have a two-story house with a mini-library, a super quiet bedroom, a pantry, and an outside space for ornamental and edible plants. I love having my own space where I have dedicated shelves for my books, a bedroom with thick blackout curtains, a storage area for my fermentation plans and the household's supplies, and a yard for an herb garden, rose, and orchid collection, some fruit-bearing trees, and day-to-day vegetables.

My partner and I already have some random designs in mind, but nothing is fixed yet. As for the location, it's outside the metro but still just one or two hours away. It's perfect this way to make sure that we can easily visit or meet up with our friends whenever we want to. Furthermore, it's going to be easier for me whenever I have some business at work that I need to do in our office. At this age, I'm all for this mantra: a small circle, a clear mind, a happy heart, a private life, and peaceful days. Throughout the years, since I started working, I've managed to keep my social circle tight and small. I have my two best friends with their partners, very few work friends, my badminton friends, and some good friends of my partner. I intend to keep it this way. Having a small circle means that I can give more time to all of them whenever I'm free, which is always the case if a friend needs me, rather than spending it with a lot of people without having any meaningful connections and conversations. Even though I am a self-proclaimed introvert, I also enjoy the company of my friends. At this age, I just want to spend most of my time with my partner and enjoy the warmth of our home with our dog, and hopefully a cat in the near future. But of course, frequent brunch and wine nights with my friends are always on my agenda. In my 30s, I want to focus more on my inner peace, that level of calm and comfort where I am not bothered by noises outside of my home, where the harmony between my partner and me is more important than the chatters of other people. And if we want to share laughter and stories with our friends, we can invite them to our home or meet them outside or probably visit them in their own homes. Part of my social life is playing badminton with my friends. I think this will be my sport until my old age. Since 2016, badminton has been one of my stress relievers. It's as if I can release my frustrations whenever I smash the shuttlecock. It's just a plus point if I can score through those smashes. Sometimes, I even use the bird to release my anger for someone; I imagine that I'm hitting their faces instead. As I grow older, I want to read books more than ever. I've been reading books to pass the time since I was in high school. Reading has always given me comfort, especially when it's raining, and I have nowhere to go but indoors. These days, I never leave the house without a book in my bag. And I plan to keep my relationship with books this way. In my 30s, I want to focus on books that will further enhance my knowledge in my current profession, homesteading, and sustainability. In my 30s, I want to excel further in my job. I want to earn more awards related to my role. I also want to find mentors for myself to become the best in data analytics, presentation, and call center financial management. Furthermore, I aim to continue as a mentor to my colleagues in the company. As my number one goal for this year, I aim to be promoted to a role related to data management, probably in the reporting or business analytics side of the business. All of these will be discussed once I have my one-on-one coaching session with my manager to prepare for the coming year. On the side, I want to explore data science. I'm currently using Coursera.org to learn the initial steps of learning this field. I found an article earlier on how to become a data analyst. There are steps there that include suggestions on where and what to start with and which courses to take on the platform. I also plan to complement it with the HBR Guide to Data Analytics Basics for Managers. I've had this book since 2019 and haven't read it, so it's high time for me to turn its pages. With this plan laid out, I want to focus on experiencing new things by traveling. I want to be more adventurous when it comes to food. I want to explore new dining places and experiences. I also want to learn to cook new dishes, be they local or foreign cuisines. I think I will share them here too. I just finished putting up a goal board where my boyfriend and I will put our goals for the years to come. We will put our short-term goals, those that we want to accomplish within the following years, and our long-term goals, those that we want to achieve after a year or so. This year, I want to go to Siargao with my boyfriend. It's also a good idea to have a getaway with my best friends now that the pandemic has been somewhat controlled. Our last out-of-town trip was almost exactly three years ago. I also obtained a hotel membership recently that I plan to use during my #TravelGoals. I also plan to offer stays to my friends so they can enjoy the perks that I have during their travels. Throughout the years of having just enough money to live from paycheck to paycheck, I promised myself that in my 30s, I would do my best to invest part of my earnings so that once I hit my 40s, I would not worry about my financial stability. I've been constantly researching my current investments, and I think I'm on the right track. All these being said, I look forward to my 30s to experience things that I've never had before and continue enjoying those that make me have a small circle, a clear mind, a happy heart, a private life, and peaceful days.

Moving Out Blues and Stresses

"But these last 60 hours have been eye-opening to me."

It's been 25 days since I officially move out of my apartment in Quezon City. It's also this long already that I've been living with my boyfriend. As of today, I'm not sure if moving in before we even reach two years of being together is a great decision.

I love my partner, very much. I love talking to him before going to sleep at night and seeing him first when I wake up in the morning. I love spending my free time with him even in total silence and just having him beside me.

But these last 60 hours have been eye-opening to me. For context, his mother arrived last Monday from the province due to a family affair that they have this coming weekend. And ever since her arrival, she has changed and moved a lot of the things, some furniture, and fixtures, that I re-arranged to make our stay in the apartment optimized for our work-from-home set-up. And I'm not okay with all the changes that she did.

This apartment that my boyfriend and I are renting right now is previously rented by his family (mother, brother, sister, and his sister's boyfriend). Right now, his mother is officially residing in their hometown and that makes her our visitor.?. His brother occupies the second bedroom when he works on-site three times a week and then goes back to the province to spend time with his family. And I think my boyfriend and his brother have an agreement that his brother will contribute an amount monthly for our electricity consumption. His sister and his sister's boyfriend already moved to their own house in the nearby province. As for the bills, aside from the contribution of his brother, it's 50-50 between my boyfriend and me. As far as I'm concerned, only my boyfriend and I are the official residents of our apartment right now. Or am I wrong?

In this situation, I have this idea that if his mother would like to move things around the apartment, she would need to ask permission from both of us first and not just from my boyfriend. And when I woke up last Tuesday afternoon to all these changes, I went ballistic on my boyfriend. I know that I could have said things better and there's no excuse for how I reacted. And I'm so sorry for that.

As to my issue with my boyfriend, my thingking is that my boyfriend should have said no when her mother was moving things around because it should be up to my boyfriend and me and not just my boyfriend since we both agreed to these changes with compromises from the two of us. As to what his mother did, I feel so disrespected. Wala naman sigurong magugustuhan na may bisita ka sa bahay mo at bigla-bigla na lang pakikialaman ng bisita ang mga pinag-aayos mo nang hindi nagpapaalam sayo.

So with this event, I feel like I'm not ready for his family to get into things that should only involve my boyfriend and me. And I think I will never be.

The only thing that I can logically think of doing is letting the changes be for now and I'll just move them back to where they were before when it's just my boyfriend and me again in the apartment. And yes, go out of the apartment from time to time to have a breath of fresh air and not be stressed about what just happened. So here I am, enjoying a glass of this decaf iced choco mochaluya all by myself at seven in the morning.