The Business Of Unfinished Business

“Unfinished business lingers like a shadow — it follows you until you finally face it.”

Very random ang post na ito. Essentially, lahat ng draft posts ko that I wanted to delete to declutter, but the content, minsan title lang, was too good to be deleted. So here they are, I'm sharing them with you in random order, and there are no timestamps; the earliest entry was from 2019. Hulaan ninyo na lang kung alin.

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Mga Bunga ng Kahapon

"Gaano kahirap ang umusad at iwan ang nakaraan kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay puno ng ala-ala ng kahapon?"

Sabado ng umaga, kakatapos lang ni Andrea sa kanyang trabaho.

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Our Team Was Crucified For Logging Too Many OTs

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Why I Cut Off People So Easy

"I never want to give people an impression that disrespecting me will be so easy because I forgive so easily."

Many people took advantage of me in the past because I let them. That time, I looked as if I was too afraid of confrontation, that instead of fighting for what I knew was right, I'd rather say yes and get on with my life as if nothing happened. But that's all in the past, do some crazy shit on me now and you'll be history tomorrow. You see, it took me years to get to this point. It took a lot of practice. It took a lot of yeses that should have been nos. It took a lot of happiness outside, but deep inside I screamed in anger.

Let me tell you three stories of how I got to this point...

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I Hate People Who Don't Know How to Respect Others' Rest: Anecdotes from Sleeping and Everything in Between

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I Left My Job For Petty Reasons

"You know what, these reasons you have are all petty. If you've only raised these things to the right people, these could have been addressed immediately."

These are the exact lines that I heard from one of the people who received my first resignation letter. Yes, first, because I have to revise my resignation letter for them to accept it. But what exactly are my reasons this person has the audacity to call them petty?

I really thought that this company was the one for me to grow my roots. Aside from the fact that it's very near to my residence, the people whom I was able to speak with during my interview were really proud of what the company has done for them.

Now let me tell you my story from the day I started my training until the last day of my 30-day notice.

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I Don't Give A F*ck: What It's Like to Only Listen To People Who Matter

"When people hear good things about you, they stay silent. When they hear bad things about you, they spread it like wildfire. But when they hear nothing about you, they make things up."

This is from a video that I watched on Facebook. Something random, yes. But very true. Life hasn't always been good to me. Things that made me come up with decisions when viewed by an outsider would be perceived that part of me as the entirety of my whole being. I committed mistakes that I already regretted for even thinking about them. I burned bridges with some people because I knew then that they would never be good for me as an individual. For all of these, I learned how to forgive myself, made peace with all my shortcomings, and moved forward so I could experience things that were only dreams in my past.

When people hear good things about you, they stay silent. People who matter celebrate your achievements and success.

When they hear bad things about you, they spread it like wildfire.

But when they hear nothing about you, they make things up.

However, it's important to remember you cannot control what others say about you or how they perceive you. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself. And let your actions speak for themselves. Over time, your character and integrity will shine through. And the people who matter most will recognize and appreciate you for who you are.

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Will Miss My Comfort Show: The Heartbreak of Saying Goodbye to The Big Bang Theory on Netflix

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Today, I Was Called Gay At Work

"This was my first time getting called gay in a derogatory way since graduating high school."

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Para Saan Ang Bukas

"Do what is right, not what is easy."

Ito ang line na pinaka-natatandaan ko nang manuod ako ng Fantastic Beasts: Secrets of Dumbledore.

Eleksyon time na naman. Oras na naman para muli tayong mamili ng mga taong gagawa ng kapalaran ng ating bansa sa mga susunod na taon. Bakit nga ba natin kailangan ng mga taong mamumuno sa ating bansa? Ano nga ba ang responsibilidad natin bilang isang botante? Bilang isang Pilipino?

May mga pagkakataon na mas mahirap lunukin ang pride natin kaysa sa paglunok ng sobrang init na kanin. Pero bakit nga ba natin kailangang lunukin ang ating mga pride?

Ako, bilang isang ordinaryong mamamayan, naranasan ko na ang hindi kumain sa isang buong araw at naranasan ko na rin ang kumain ng limang beses sa isang araw. Pero ano bang kinalaman ng mga taong mauupo sa katungkulan sa kung ilang beses ako kumain at kakain sa loob ng isang araw?

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It's You, Only You

"Reasons for loving someone don't have to be complicated."

Nabasa ko 'yan sa isang public Facebook post. Totoo naman. Dati akala ko saying I love you because I love you was enough. But as I grew older, I realized that there must be something in that person that made me love him. I acknowledge the scientific explanation of falling in love, but from a hopeless romantic point-of-view, I want to share why I can say I love you.

Ngayong ikaw na ang nasa harapan ko, hindi na ako magsasayang ng oras at sasabihin ko na sa'yo kung bakit kita minamahal.

Sa ngiti mo pa lang nahuli mo na ang puso ko. My world suddenly stops whenever I see your sweet smile, ang tamis na parang gusto kong tikman by kissing you until the day when I can no longer kiss you.

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Sana Bukas Sa Paggising Mo

"Sana bukas sa paggising mo ang bigat na iyong nadarama ay maglaho na nang tuluyan."

Alam ko, nahihirapan ka na. Namnamin mo ang hirap sa ngayon dahil sigurado ako, bukas o makalawa, mawawala din 'yan. Ito ang paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa aking sarili. But how true can this be? Most of the time, I feel like I'm just kidding myself.

Heartbreaks always give me the worst pain. Ang hirap kumilos, halos ayaw kong bumangon sa tuwing ang alarm ng phone ko eh tutunog. I've been through this before and yes, I was able...

Random Thoughts While Having Coffee

"I love thinking things through while having a cup of coffee. Here are some random thoughts I have while having my cup for the day."

Entries are raw and unedited ideas and thoughts as I have my morning coffee, from newest to oldest. But this is on hold for now since it's my 2025 Holiday Writing Tradition. You may view my logs here.

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It's the 7th already of Feb. I'm excited for my first time off from work since my long vacation last holiday. Well, this coming Friday is a special non-working holiday as declared by the president kasi Chinese New Year daw the following day, Saturday.

I'm not sure yet if I'm also going to take tomorrow or Monday next week as an off or not at all. Anyway, I'm excited sa plan namin this coming Friday kasi pupunta daw kaming Binondo for a Chinese food crawl. Hahaha. Papakabusog pero sana eh hindi gumapang pauwi dahil sa kabusugan.

As for work, nakaka-stress. I feel like it's starting to cripple me kaya I'm taking the holiday na rin para makapagpahinga rin ang katawan at brain ko.

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Last day na ng January. And it has to end na may away kami ng partner ko. Last night, I found out a thing na sobrang nagpasama ng loob ko to the point that I didn't even know how to process it right there and then. Hindi ko alam kung magagalit ba ako, maiinis, kung sisigaw ba ako dahil sa sobrang biglang buhos ng frustrations ko.

All I could do was walk away from the scene, be far from him. And once I was already far from him, a tear just fell from my right eye. Parang pelikula lang di ba? Pero totoo 'yan. Sa sobrang bigat ng loob ko, hindi na kayang i-process ng isip ko ang nangyari. I couldn't even focus anymore sa trabaho ko kaya I logged out on the dot. It's the worst feeling I've ever had since 2016 when I had a horrible break-up with my now ex.

I was super thankful that #TheBeekeeper was already available online. It helped me keep my anger and frustration at bay. Every time Jason Statham punched and kicked a person, I felt like I was releasing my emotions through him. Anyway, I feel okay now. Wala na yung negative emotions ko, and I'm hopeful that we'll be able to come up with a solution sa problema naming 'to.

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It's Tuesday of the last full week of January 2024. As cliché as this sounds, what the heck?! January is almost over. Time seemed to fly so fast compared to last year.

I thought I would be able to accomplish something more than what I've done already this month, but I just can't seem to focus and push myself to do them. I don't know, maybe it's because of my hair. Maybe I need to get a haircut already. It's weird? Maybe. But I can't seem to move around freely because my head feels heavier than usual due to my hair. Before, when I used to have very short hair, I had the energy to finish things and just fully focus on my goals.

Let's see what I will get tomorrow. This is going to be my first agenda after I wake up tomorrow morning.

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First entry on this post for the new year, all I can say is it's a rough start to the year. But maybe a little better compared to some years in the past.

I'm trying my very best to find another source of income because living, just merely living, in this society is getting harder and harder if you don't have enough money. I can't say I'm frustrated with our current situation because other people are experiencing it worse than us. Recently, I looked at my payslip. I discovered that almost an equal amount to our bi-weekly grocery budget is being deducted from my salary just for PhilHealth contribution. I felt so enraged and sad and tired. I'm working so hard, yet I'm not seeing any improvement in the health services of the government.

My mother wants one of her teeth extracted, but can't immediately do it because they don't have enough money to cover the expenses. Since the health center near their home requires patients to pay for the service. A health center run by the government is asking for money from the people whom they are supposed to serve with no fee.

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Writing here again after a few days of staying in bed later than usual. Lately, I've been having difficulty sleeping. Maybe it's just the domino effect of waking up outside of my schedule. So much with that. Right now, I'm thinking about our current economic situation. Based on our experience, it looks like living in the city has been a bit more expensive than usual. Yes, almost nothing in our household budget has changed, but it feels like money just passes through our wallets and then goes in a matter of seconds. Our usual grocery list almost never changed compared to the previous month, but our expenses for these household items almost doubled.

I mean, yes, I still feel that we're lucky to even be able to buy our groceries and still not remove anything from the list. But if this goes on for a few more months, I'm not so sure anymore. Anyway, I've been thinking about getting a second project since I noticed that my hours after my current project are just wasted on watching a lot of movies and other content on social media. I still haven't decided on it yet, but it looks like the time to have a second project is getting sooner rather than later, so why not now?

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Taking in more of what happened last week, nakaka-gag* iyong mga taong ang galing magmalinis at may lakas ng loob na mag-maganda eh sila 'tong mas bulok ang pagkatao.

I know at some point, I'll be able to get over the things that they did and said to me. But definitely not today, not in the very near future. And as I said before, no change in actions and attitude means no remorse for what they did.

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The past few days have been very eye-opening for me. My major takeaway is to not let other people know of our plans unless we are sure that they are the people who always have our backs, no matter what.

A deep conversation with my partner got us to a decision to ignore the noises in our surroundings and just focus our attention and energy on our goals.

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It's Sunday, a slow one that is- got up from bed around 01:45 PM. This day doesn't require much action and urgency since tomorrow is a national holiday. Ang sarap sa feeling na ngayon ay optional na lang sa akin ang maging busy.

We have great plans for the coming days, and I'm very excited about them. I'm having a new project, and my certification as a training facilitator is coming unexpectedly fast. This coming week excites me in ways I hadn't been before.

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Planning and budgeting for two people is a very challenging task. Let alone that we just started this journey of being financially responsible as a couple.

But you know what, this is such a great thing. I mean, it's good that we're already doing this, thus making our future lives together more comfortable. Though I'm very sure that this will require more discipline from both of us. And I think we're both ready for it. I'm very, very excited!

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Due to some events recently, I realized that it's always best to keep away from your toxic and Marites friends and relatives on social media. In the first place, hindi mo kaibigan ang isang tao at never kang itinuring na kapamilya ng isang tao kung kapag nakatalikod ka ay ikaw ang laman ng kanilang mga kwento.

Tatahimik ang buhay mo if you only keep people in your circle who always have your back. Proven and tested ko na 'to. I recently had another run of this idea to test my first impression of my SO's relative. And it gave me the same conclusion. So yeah, another lesson learned for me, just because they showed you their best attitude when they first met you, doesn't mean that you can already trust them.

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Downtime before working is so refreshing 'no? Sarap sa feeling na mag-start ng day sa trabaho knowing na masaya ang time mo outside of work. Regardless kung stressful ang trabaho or hindi, excited akong mag-logout from work and do the things that I love doing.

Sa ganda ng set-up at schedule ko sa work, I still get to do things on weekdays, hindi tulad dati na kapag weekdays eh work at tulog lang talaga ang 95% ng araw ko. I'm very grateful na sobrang supportive ng manager namin pagdating sa work-life balance.

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When you talk about other people behind their backs, do you still expect that they will let you eat their food? 'Di ba obvious naman na hindi na? But let's make it more obvious, HINDI NA!

As a person who values peace and quiet at home, the moment you create noise, regardless of how loud it is and who you are, as long as it disrupts that calm, you are no longer welcome inside. You have to go! So don't expect, just please, don't expect that I will just sit in a corner and let you do your shit. Sabi nga nila, my house, my rules.

This is an ongoing, almost daily project that I have now. Expect that this will be updated from time to time.