Holidays 2024 Reflections: What Christmas Feels This Year

I'm a week late with this Christmas tradition but here goes... This has random events of my daily life posted at random times of the day, which can be once or even thrice a day. Also, there's nothing formal here, I'm just typing anything I want to share.

Nov 11 (Mon): I woke up at 0630 again. The weekend was uneventful except for the few hours in the mall yesterday to buy storage boxes for my books and some grocery items since jowa had already run out of his coffee. And this is how I want my weekends to be. Just chill at home doing house chores, reading a book until I fall asleep for a siesta, and an every other weekend badminton catch-up with friends.

On another note, I'm excited about this workweek. Mainly because I now have a second monitor to use. Ayos lang naman sa akin na laptop lang ang gamit ko for work, never had an issue using one. Sadyang excited lang ako for the additional monitor kasi it's gonna be a lot easier to move from one window to another and share screen one at a time during meetings. As for the second reason, matatago ko na for now ang books na nabasa ko na at hindi na ako mahihirapang magtanggal ng alikabok from time to time.

Also, I'm daydreaming about this view from our quick side trip to Boracay last June. I'm really missing the beach already. It's a good thing my work friends want to catch up on Thanksgiving weekend. And yes! That's a beach trip for two nights. Maybe this is another reason for me to be excited about this workweek. LOL.

Nov 12 (Tue): I feel so relieved to finally put my books in storage boxes which we plan to move to our new home in the next couple of weeks. Our shelves are finally easy to dust and easier for me to pick the book that I want to finish within the month.

After making some reports and updating some templates, I decided to go for a coffee run and buy some groceries for the pasta recipe I plan to cook tomorrow. This is also to have a new environment to continue working on the report that I plan to present to my team this week and to finally start the articles we will publish in January.

Nov 13 (Wed): So... I was not able to buy the ingredients yesterday for pasta kasi napakahaba ng pila sa cashier. Since I don't feel like going out of the house today, I informed my partner na sa Friday na lang ako magluluto.

In other news, my friends at work already booked the accommodation for teambuilding on Thanksgiving week. I looking forward to it kasi gustong-gusto ko nang makapag-beach at pool ulit. Five months na since my last trip to a beach.

Very great progress for me today, finally! Nakapag-start na ako ulit sa reading ko. I've already stacked the books that I plan to read in the next six months. I'm very hopeful that this is going to be the restart that I've been wanting.

Nov 14 (Thu): Walang gaanong ganap yesterday, other than finally I have something to put in my report. I got all the information I need; I just now need to organize them in a way na easy on the eyes para smooth lang ang flow ng presentation ko.

Also, I'm so excited for tonight. I'm going to cook chicken fettuccini alfredo. Since hindi pa kumpleto ang ingredients ko, sakto na nagustuhan kong lumabas ng bahay. Ang sakit na din kasi sa tainga ng construction na malapit sa apartment namin. But first coffee! LOL. Stay muna ako dito sa coffeeshop near the supermarket ng mga 2 hours para makagawa ng daily report ko.

Now at work, I had a quick chat with my manager. She needed help in setting up a shared mailbox in her e-mail app and a quick chat about our reporting project. My takeaway from this meeting:

Some things are not always given or obvious. In leadership, sometimes, we have to remind people to keep them on-track.

For context, I finished researching the task she assigned us some weeks ago. She asked me if I also reminded my teammates about it. I said that I thought it was already a given pointing out that it was a task assigned to everyone in the team. And I got that response from her which I agreed with because for some reason there are people in any team who always think that agreeing on others' work is enough contribution from them to a project.

Nov 15 (Fri): I couldn't read pages of my current book yesterday dahil nakalimutan ko itong dalahin when I went out. At nakalimutan ko na rin bago ako natulog last night. Pero bumawi naman ako today and read the pages with so much more understanding and takeaways. But this is what struck me the most:

If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.

The author further said that goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress and that a handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.

Super eye-opening nito for me kasi in the previous years, halos walang mintis to, talagang I took my time making my goals for the year. I probably spent four weeks deciding on my goals in the coming year. Since I did not think about the systems to achieve each goal, I probably could only reach 15% of them. Sad, 'di ba? But I think this coming new year, it's gonna be different. #FingersCrossed

Nov 18 (Mon): Our weekend has been somehow busy. Last Saturday, we went to a park a few minutes from our apartment. We had coffee, explored their supermarket, and had dinner at one of their restaurants which had way too big servings for just two people.

Last Sunday, we tried the new LRT 1 stations. We went to the mall nearest the last new station. The experience was pleasant. I just didn't like that we got trapped in a shopping hole and we went home with at least five thousand worth of charges to our cards. LOL. Anyway, this is me trying to justify that unnecessary expense, we bought clothing items that we can use on our vacations, at least on our beach trips.

Today, I was supposed to have my annual physical exam in our nearby office but my teammate who I was supposed to go with had a personal emergency and I decided I'll have the exam on Wednesday.

Dec 30 (Mon): The 30th of December is way too far from my last update, more than a month, imagine that! All I can say as an explanation is life happened. Some days were just too exhausting to even get up from my bed. Nothing much happened but my body and mind, most of the time, just wanted to sleep, eat, repeat. But I think I'm okay now.

Here's a photo that I recently uploaded on Instagram and this was still from our June trip, we called it Almost Panay Island Vacation because we were not able to go to Antique. I still haven't uploaded photos outside of this trip. I think I still have three more vacations worth of photos to upload.

I miss the beach already even if I just had a trip to the beach last Thanksgiving weekend. I feel like I need more of the sun and the salty water of the sea.

Anyway, I'm currently on my second week of leave from work, I'll be back on the 6th. And this vacation, though I never really went out of the city and just stayed in our apartment, has put my perspective and mental health back to normal programming. I already went back to playing badminton and hopefully, I'll be able to play every week through the new year.

On a fresher update, my partner and I watched "The Kingdom" earlier today, a Metro Manila Film Festival entry for this year. I can't tell if I liked it or not. It's a refreshing entry to this yearly film festival. I haven't seen a lot of entries in this genre. On the other hand, it felt like the plot tried to tackle a lot of things in a movie

that's less than two hours. Before, I wanted to watch as many of the entries this year as possible but now, I don't feel like it anymore. Aside from the expected high volume of movie-goers that by the way has been making my head spin, watching a movie in cinemas isn't financially sustainable for us anymore. From Php250 last 2019, I think a decent cinema experience is at least Php400 now. Way better if we'll just wait for them to be available on Netflix which by the way has been a great platform to watch all MMFF entries after the festival.

Jan 05 (Sun): Happy New Year!!! Well, it's been a few days again since my last update and my 2-week vacation from work ends today. Although I didn't do much during this break from work, I still love it because I could slow down even if it meant not regularly updating this page too. I know you understand, there were just some days that slowing down meant not doing anything at all.

Anyway, since I started this Christmas tradition a week late, I decided to extend it for a week. So... Here are some bits of ganaps since the 31st of December:

My partner and I decided to run to the public market to buy some essentials for the cooking we'd be doing for our New Year's Eve dinner. It's just the two of us and our dog, Miggyboy, so we decided to cook something just so we'd have something new to eat from dinner until breakfast the following day. He cooked pepper squid and bangus sisig and I prepared some snacks for our movie marathon. We were supposed to make a prosperity bowl but we opted to just do it on Chinese New Year.

Came New Year's Eve, and we spent it cuddling Miggyboy because he was very afraid of the firecrackers. There's nothing much that we did at this time other than cuddling, watching movies, and ultimately sleeping around one in the morning. During the day, we attended the mass in Don Bosco Church which isn't too far from our place, about 30 minutes, two jeepney ride away. We decided that for most of our Sundays this 2025, we'll be attending the mass in this church because their 06:30PM mass is not very crowded. After that, we went to the mall to eat dinner at Chibo. The food was okay but Raviolli was still way better. We had coffee before we called it a night.

The 2nd and the 3rd days of the year weren't eventful at all. My partner had to return to work already while Miggyboy and I just stayed home and slept a lot. Yesterday, Saturday, I played badminton with my new game buddies. It was my second game day with them and I think I want to keep this already as my Saturday morning routine. I had to hurry home to prepare for a late lunch out with my partner's brother's family. We ate at a garlic-themed restaurant. I think the children liked it. We also gave them our Christmas gifts that my partner couldn't bring when he went to his hometown before the New Year. After lunch, we had coffee while making kwentos of all the travels and plans that we had and have. My partner and I ended our Saturday with a quick tour to a Samsung Store to pick up the Fit 3 bands, my Christmas gift to him, that I bought online. Unfortunately, Fit 3 is no longer compatible with iPhone, so we have to sell his band and use the money to buy another watch compatible with his phone.

For today, I'm thawing steak on the kitchen counter. I'll cook it for our lunch and we'll attend the mass in a different church just because it's convenient since we're going to a nearby mall to look for ASEAN costume my partner needs for his work.

Jan 23 (Thu): I thought I could continue this until the second week of January. I was so wrong. This month is almost over and I'm still writing the closing portion of this post. So I guess, that's it for this one. Better luck next time again, just like how I ended last year's post.

Random Thoughts While Having Coffee

"I love thinking things through while having a cup of coffee. Here are some random thoughts I have while having my cup for the day."

Entries are raw and unedited ideas and thoughts as I have my morning coffee, from newest to oldest. But this is on hold for now since it's my 2025 Holiday Writing Tradition. You may view my logs here.

***

It's the 7th already of Feb. I'm excited for my first time off from work since my long vacation last holiday. Well, this coming Friday is a special non-working holiday as declared by the president kasi Chinese New Year daw the following day, Saturday.

I'm not sure yet if I'm also going to take tomorrow or Monday next week as an off or not at all. Anyway, I'm excited sa plan namin this coming Friday kasi pupunta daw kaming Binondo for a Chinese food crawl. Hahaha. Papakabusog pero sana eh hindi gumapang pauwi dahil sa kabusugan.

As for work, nakaka-stress. I feel like it's starting to cripple me kaya I'm taking the holiday na rin para makapagpahinga rin ang katawan at brain ko.

***

Last day na ng January. And it has to end na may away kami ng partner ko. Last night, I found out a thing na sobrang nagpasama ng loob ko to the point that I didn't even know how to process it right there and then. Hindi ko alam kung magagalit ba ako, maiinis, kung sisigaw ba ako dahil sa sobrang biglang buhos ng frustrations ko.

All I could do was walk away from the scene, be far from him. And once I was already far from him, a tear just fell from my right eye. Parang pelikula lang di ba? Pero totoo 'yan. Sa sobrang bigat ng loob ko, hindi na kayang i-process ng isip ko ang nangyari. I couldn't even focus anymore sa trabaho ko kaya I logged out on the dot. It's the worst feeling I've ever had since 2016 when I had a horrible break-up with my now ex.

I was super thankful that #TheBeekeeper was already available online. It helped me keep my anger and frustration at bay. Every time Jason Statham punched and kicked a person, I felt like I was releasing my emotions through him. Anyway, I feel okay now. Wala na yung negative emotions ko, and I'm hopeful that we'll be able to come up with a solution sa problema naming 'to.

***

It's Tuesday of the last full week of January 2024. As cliché as this sounds, what the heck?! January is almost over. Time seemed to fly so fast compared to last year.

I thought I would be able to accomplish something more than what I've done already this month, but I just can't seem to focus and push myself to do them. I don't know, maybe it's because of my hair. Maybe I need to get a haircut already. It's weird? Maybe. But I can't seem to move around freely because my head feels heavier than usual due to my hair. Before, when I used to have very short hair, I had the energy to finish things and just fully focus on my goals.

Let's see what I will get tomorrow. This is going to be my first agenda after I wake up tomorrow morning.

***

First entry on this post for the new year, all I can say is it's a rough start to the year. But maybe a little better compared to some years in the past.

I'm trying my very best to find another source of income because living, just merely living, in this society is getting harder and harder if you don't have enough money. I can't say I'm frustrated with our current situation because other people are experiencing it worse than us. Recently, I looked at my payslip. I discovered that almost an equal amount to our bi-weekly grocery budget is being deducted from my salary just for PhilHealth contribution. I felt so enraged and sad and tired. I'm working so hard, yet I'm not seeing any improvement in the health services of the government.

My mother wants one of her teeth extracted, but can't immediately do it because they don't have enough money to cover the expenses. Since the health center near their home requires patients to pay for the service. A health center run by the government is asking for money from the people whom they are supposed to serve with no fee.

***

Writing here again after a few days of staying in bed later than usual. Lately, I've been having difficulty sleeping. Maybe it's just the domino effect of waking up outside of my schedule. So much with that. Right now, I'm thinking about our current economic situation. Based on our experience, it looks like living in the city has been a bit more expensive than usual. Yes, almost nothing in our household budget has changed, but it feels like money just passes through our wallets and then goes in a matter of seconds. Our usual grocery list almost never changed compared to the previous month, but our expenses for these household items almost doubled.

I mean, yes, I still feel that we're lucky to even be able to buy our groceries and still not remove anything from the list. But if this goes on for a few more months, I'm not so sure anymore. Anyway, I've been thinking about getting a second project since I noticed that my hours after my current project are just wasted on watching a lot of movies and other content on social media. I still haven't decided on it yet, but it looks like the time to have a second project is getting sooner rather than later, so why not now?

***

Taking in more of what happened last week, nakaka-gag* iyong mga taong ang galing magmalinis at may lakas ng loob na mag-maganda eh sila 'tong mas bulok ang pagkatao.

I know at some point, I'll be able to get over the things that they did and said to me. But definitely not today, not in the very near future. And as I said before, no change in actions and attitude means no remorse for what they did.

***

The past few days have been very eye-opening for me. My major takeaway is to not let other people know of our plans unless we are sure that they are the people who always have our backs, no matter what.

A deep conversation with my partner got us to a decision to ignore the noises in our surroundings and just focus our attention and energy on our goals.

***

It's Sunday, a slow one that is- got up from bed around 01:45 PM. This day doesn't require much action and urgency since tomorrow is a national holiday. Ang sarap sa feeling na ngayon ay optional na lang sa akin ang maging busy.

We have great plans for the coming days, and I'm very excited about them. I'm having a new project, and my certification as a training facilitator is coming unexpectedly fast. This coming week excites me in ways I hadn't been before.

***

Planning and budgeting for two people is a very challenging task. Let alone that we just started this journey of being financially responsible as a couple.

But you know what, this is such a great thing. I mean, it's good that we're already doing this, thus making our future lives together more comfortable. Though I'm very sure that this will require more discipline from both of us. And I think we're both ready for it. I'm very, very excited!

***

Due to some events recently, I realized that it's always best to keep away from your toxic and Marites friends and relatives on social media. In the first place, hindi mo kaibigan ang isang tao at never kang itinuring na kapamilya ng isang tao kung kapag nakatalikod ka ay ikaw ang laman ng kanilang mga kwento.

Tatahimik ang buhay mo if you only keep people in your circle who always have your back. Proven and tested ko na 'to. I recently had another run of this idea to test my first impression of my SO's relative. And it gave me the same conclusion. So yeah, another lesson learned for me, just because they showed you their best attitude when they first met you, doesn't mean that you can already trust them.

***

Downtime before working is so refreshing 'no? Sarap sa feeling na mag-start ng day sa trabaho knowing na masaya ang time mo outside of work. Regardless kung stressful ang trabaho or hindi, excited akong mag-logout from work and do the things that I love doing.

Sa ganda ng set-up at schedule ko sa work, I still get to do things on weekdays, hindi tulad dati na kapag weekdays eh work at tulog lang talaga ang 95% ng araw ko. I'm very grateful na sobrang supportive ng manager namin pagdating sa work-life balance.

***

When you talk about other people behind their backs, do you still expect that they will let you eat their food? 'Di ba obvious naman na hindi na? But let's make it more obvious, HINDI NA!

As a person who values peace and quiet at home, the moment you create noise, regardless of how loud it is and who you are, as long as it disrupts that calm, you are no longer welcome inside. You have to go! So don't expect, just please, don't expect that I will just sit in a corner and let you do your shit. Sabi nga nila, my house, my rules.

This is an ongoing, almost daily project that I have now. Expect that this will be updated from time to time.